End of Autumn, end of semester, end of..

It was such a breezy day that I felt so light-hearted, yet nostalgic, as the autumn ends.

So swiftly time passes, we're entering winter (June 1) and our finals await us. All the best everyone.. It's been a great semester =')

Nonetheless, people so close to my heart warm up the chilly moments.. I feel as if I'm at home.

She still wants me! Loves =')

As the season ends, the path through life we wend.

Adios..

Inexplicable

A mental invasion.

Why is it so difficult to escape this plague?

I'm tired.


Family are coming over tomorrow.

Mixed feelings.

Relieved yet anguished.


I want to get untangled from these uncomprehensible tangles. I don't understand?


Seriously, what's wrong with me?

What was I wishing for?

Of course today would end.

People say,

time is like the course of a stream, you'll never touch the same water twice.

I thought, I want to live life to my fullest.



Negativity,

you succeed in pushing them away this time

only to have them manuevering back to you the next,

they didn't diminish

simply because they weren't dealt with.



Confused, what is it that your heart desires?

Permanence?

But dear, nothing is.

Only the present is truly ours.

What's missing, you queer soul?

I wonder..

What's troubling?

I can't figure out.

***********************************************************************

Then just close your eyes

and listen to your heart beat,

Every moment is lived only once

embrace it

fill it with contentment

and let it flow past you

let it go gracefully

Look back at it

Smile 'cause

it's been lived.

it's been appreciated.

it's worthy.

='(

I'll miss you.






='(





Miss you, miss you.



I hope tomorrow never ends.


Last Law Lecture also, before I study it again end of next year. Double ='(

Monday!

Started off melancholicly, because it was my last tutorial with our best tutor ever (X 1000000), Simon Pitt.

And of all days, he missed the train, was late, very apologetic, still sweating, but continued to teach all the same. =D Thanks, you're the best!!!!!!!!!

AND AZY ADORES YOUR BLUE EYES! me too.. gonna miss his tutes badly

After tute, Philip kept persuading Azy to cook us lunch and Azy agreed whole-heartedly. Thumbs up to her Ayam Kicap Cina! YUMSSSS! Philip was even willing to be late for his tute just for your chicken, Azy! (maybe also due to the fact that he doesn't like accounting) That's how good it was.. and to think you stressed out about wanting to serve us the best, it was really good and agree with Philip that your sincere efforts were all that count anyway. =)


After that I went back to Uni to participate in the research. Nothing much, just similar tasks : reconizing facial expressions (happy, sad, neutral, angry, fear) in both slower and faster (just a glance of them) rates. And word associations in sets of 60 seconds (I actually got stucked with naming as many animals as possible! what the heck!), detecting inexistent words and reading out a list of mostly unrecognizable words. Clare said I did well, and I'll get her thesis paper at the end of the year.


And then, back to Azy's. She gave me such valueble first-hand insights on her experiences..I'm more than grateful =D Thanks, kak! We'll still meet up right even though you may not take commerce subjects as your breadth anymore (she's Architecture student) ? ='(


And once again, you're NOT OLD! Just twenty, and my friends semua pun kata u cantik kan? And Finaz too, of course. (and her winter coat =P) It's a fact!

Emo week ahead. Last of everything. Sigh.


PS: I've joined the I Love Jeff Borland (my legendary microeconomics professor) group in Facebook. =D

Sofia's =D

Round 3

Yesterday, while I was in lecture, I received a call from this private number. Usually I would reject the call but as I thought it might be my parents (since Malaysian numbers are often accorded as private numbers), I picked it up.


"......hello??" *whispers*

"Hi, is this Mei Shan?"

"Yes.."

"Hi, I'm Claire Cameron, how're you doing?"


*mind goes blank for awhile, then her name rang the bell"


"Oh hi, I'm actually in a lecture, can you call me back at 12?"

******************************************************************************

She called back during lunch, and apparently my participation is needed (again) for Part 3, for a longtitude test.






If you recall,




The Psychology Research.

• Date: Monday (26th May 2008)
• Time: 2.00 pm
• Venue: Experimental Psychopathology Lab, Room 934.
• No. of tasks: 3
• Types of tasks: Unknown
• Reimbursement: $ 10 (XD)

I'll find out soon..

Happy Wesak!

"Wesak dawn has paced in softly, tip-toed through the moonlit night.."


I remember singing this hymn every Wesak in the temple.

"May the Buddha be at my head, the Dhamma in my heart, and the Sangha by my side, to guide and protect me always."


I thank you, Buddha, for guiding and leading me on constantly in my life through your great teachings, through Dhamma.

On this tri-sacred day, may you all seek what you're seeking for, and be well, peaceful always.



Sadhu and Sokihontu.


With Metta,
Mei Shan

Azy!

Thanks Azy,

For being my "PA" today,

For giving advices,

For commenting,

For encouragement,

For the treat of Krispy Kreme (yummy),

For "helping" me out (XD),

For not minding being teased throughout lunch,

For the wonderfull-est day!

For being a great big sister!

Don't worry about being twenty, you're so young at heart..Azyan Syazwani!


Loves~~



Ps: I've lost something very personal and valueble to me today, don't blame yourself, it may not be there anymore, but at least I treasured it when it was, and its means to me shall never decay.

TO ALL OF YOU!!

To all friends taking A2 finals on Monday onwards:


All the very best!!!!!!

This is your time to shine!

All your efforts since last year, will be fruitful now!

Rest well, stay composed and go through it!


Then bid college goodbye and ..


HALLELUJAH!

and enjoy prom and class trips!


You'll all make it =D


Take care!!!!




ps: It's been raining all day since early morning today. It's very chilly when walking back home or when scurrying along the streets. Now, I'm feeling very snug in my room, with my heater on, and enjoying a hot brew of green tea. Ahhh~~

Straying away Taking a break from law =D

Shan't tag anyone this time because similar tags have been done before. =D

Tagged by Andrea:

1. Have you been trying to avoid something or someone?
No

2. Where will you go if someone sponsor you a tour ticket?
Egypt, Italy

3. What's your favourite thing to do?
Relaxing XD

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?
To a certain extent.

5. If you had one dream to come true, what would it be?
To be contented everyday.

6. What do you see in a ideal girlfriend/boyfriend?
Responsible, appreciative, kind, funny and loving.

7. What are you most afraid to lose?
Hope and will.

8. If you win $1million, what would you do?
Spend, give, donate, reinvest.

9. What is most precious thing in your life?
Family

10. List at least 5 of your closest friend.
They know who they are =D

11. What do you think you will be doing in 10years time?
Hmmm, 28? Working hard and settling down.

12. Would you date someone who's at least 1o years younger or older than you?
10 years.. means 8-year-old (nahh..) and 28-year-old(most probably not, but depends)

13. What is your ambition?
To have a promising career, happy family and live life to my fullest.

14. If you can teleport once, where would you go?
Bring as many people as possible on an exciting adventure somewhere in the jungles, mazes, time-shifts !!!

15. Believes in?
Being your genuine self.

16. If you can undo doing one mistake in the past, what would it be?
This is tough.. I'm clueless.

17. If you have one chance, which character would you like to change?
Thick-headed

18. What music have you been listening to recently?
Dashboard Confessional, The Corrs (accoustic), basically songs in my Itunes aha

19. What is your least favourite animals?
Animals no favourito >.<

20. Who you wanna be with in this very moment?
Family and friends..

=)

Skies are cleared!

Lost is found! (looks grammatically incorrect)

All thanks to the unknown samaritan who has noticed the fairly unnoticeable black pouch, around 10 pm - 11 pm last night, and handed it over to lost and found!


THANKSSSSSS TO YOU! YOU MADE MY DAY! =D

Relying on my hopeless and choppy flash backs, I came early this morning and searched almost every possible place that I have been to yesterday:

Union House, Babel (Room 217 and Student Centre), Old Arts (Student Centre and Supervisor Building), Public Lecture Theatre (from outside), and Baillieu Library, and would have gone further to Woodland Theatre (Microbiology Building) if I hadn't miracolously found it in the library!


And thanks for JY, PW, CH and MC for searching last night!



And now that I'm all excited, I wouldn't mind sharing an incident that I otherwise would, because I ought to be grieving on the lost key.

*************************************************************************************

And so yesterday, was just another day (before I went mad about the lost key), and I had my QM (stats) tutorial at 4.15 pm. I would always dread it, because others would be home by then.


But,

Andrew, this super mega cute ang moh tutor mate, took a seat beside me. *grins*


Ok la, more like I took the seat beside him. It doesn't matter, because we are all seated in a distorted circle anyway. Well not that I deliberately took the seat beside him, I'm normally seated there, just that he took the seat beside me before me, when he usually doesn't. Because he normally just sits opposite me or next-next-next to me.


ANYWAY, we were early (along with two other tutor mates), and Andrew and this girl were discussing the assignment question, which the girl hasn't completed. So he sort of taught her and I just listened. And then he sort of stopped and all of us were in silence.


And then he turned to me and asked me something that I didn't hear, because his baby blue gorgeous eyes were boring into mine.


He looks just like Josh Groban, with his slightly frizzy hair, just that his was blondish-brown. His eyes were those shocking blue that you can be immersed in for like, forever.


And that was when I realised he was asking me something, for the second time.

Something like "Can I have a look at part 2(a)?"

And I replied, "Yea, sure. Part 2(a)?"


And he went, "No, today."


Puzzled, I repeated, "Today?"

"Yea, today."


At that point, my mind went blank? Apa today? Tutorial hadn't even started, what's to ask about today? Nor was there a question by the name of "today"? Or was there?


I must have looked confused. And he probably thought I couldn't hear him, so he leaned closer and repeated it by its syllables.


"To-day. Can I have a look at it please?"


*what the heck???!!*


"Today????? "

"Yea, today."

"Er, today????"

"Yes, Today."

"You mean, today?!??!"


"Errrr.. yeaa."

"What today?" *with increasingly weird intonation*


And the girl he taught previously was stiffling her laughters.



*yeesh, the least she could do was to translate*



And then, I was suddenly strucked. *light bulb icon flashed*



Then I blushed, then I let out an awkward chuckle, "Oh..sorry.". He grimaced and was just looking plain puzzled. Puzzlingly cute.




Then I hastily shoved my assignment towards him and showed him my answer of...





2(d).





I could feel my cheeks burning of embarrassment.




When will I stop embarrassing myself, on Tuesdays? !I'm such a nut.


ps: Well at least he did sound impressed with my answers with "oohs" and "aahs" and "I see what you're doing here". (though I just found out that they were wrong today =S)

Please..

Please please please, let someone notice it.

And hand it over to Lost and Found.



I'll promise to keep it properly, I can't afford to lose it.

Please.

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Superstar Mum,

You’re magical,

Your reassuring hugs and kisses
My problem dismisses

Your reaffirming advice
I don’t have to hear it twice
Once suffice


You’re inspiring,

The love you shower unconditionally,
The care you give lavishly,
The knowledge you impart unreservedly,
The insights you share generously,
The values you instill whole-heartedly,

Have done wonders in my life
Pushing myself to my limits
To reach for the stars
To make you proud

Although I know
For us to be happy
Is your greatest jubilee


Your love encompasses all,

No wound that your love will not heal,
No door that your love will not open,
No gulf that your love will not bridge,
No sin that your love will not redeem.


Just so you know,

I hope that today and always,
You are aware of how special you are to me
And how loving you is the food of my soul, it'll always be.


Happy Mother’s Day!
Thank you Mama


By Mei Shan and your loving children

Sleep deprived

I sat there, trying to figure out what she meant.

"The fat tree produced lollies, or candies of mean weight of 200g and standard deviation of.."

Fat tree??



Which she actually meant "factory".


Or "I have to change my battery" when it was " I have to go to Redmond Barry".


Or "The good old services" when he meant "The good or services.."

Or how I misread the Bus number, and ended up in Diamond Creek instead of Eltham, and had to walk from that suburb to my suburb and then to the train station. T.T

Or how I insisted to my brother yesterday that we were standing on the wrong platform at Clifton Hill, and made us both run our lives to the opposite platform, only to see before our eyes, our train leaving at the previous platfrom.

Just now, when Sepya asked me what week we were in, I said, "Six" without thinking , when we were actually already in week nine.


Minutes ago, when stepping out of the bus, I dropped my whole file of accounting notes, on the road. Clumsily gathered them up, only to drop them again. And the bus driver was waiting for me, "You've got them all?"

AND *edit*, during dinner just now, my bro was transferring the fried rice from the big pan to my plate and said, "Say stop". And I looked at him, "What chicken stock?" (maybe because I was thinking of the ingredients of the dinner)



I feel as if I'm drifting around.


Assignments.. are wearing me out. *yawns*

Happy 19th Birthday Jin Lin!

Dear Jin Lin,

Just in case, you didn't check your email or facebook account!


HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!!!

Always a thoughtful friend, you make outings ever joyous and lively!

The BUS is where we met, and you are known for being part of bus experiments, u-know-who's best friend, Justea, Olive and what not. Ahh~~ those were the bus days..

And later we switched to Yen Ming and you fetching us to college, the chapter continued with never ending jokes, music, reminiscenes and not to forget, threats to kick ppl out of the car! hahaah~~


Now that you're in IMU, studying maybe the world's most challenging course, I wish you all the best in Dentistry!


Can wan la u.. =)

May you:

• Achieve whatever your heart desire
• Continue being you
• Be healthy!
• Be happy!
• GAIN WEIGHT!

Hope to see a more "prosperous" you in July! ^.^

Wonders

Yesterday's meditation was on the last step of the Seven Steps to Silence : Giving unconditionally.

It proved easier to meditate with our eyes open, as Kavindha (meditation guru) requested. Because, wheh you close your eyes, it's a natural signal to your body system to shut down and go to sleep.

Which was what Jian and I almost did when meditating two weeks ago, almost dozing off, as we meditated with our eyes closed, and what's more, with what's looked like a very bloated stomach of yummy lunch.

Yesterday's session felt so in-dept that I have never felt so worn out after, concentrating on the thoughts Kavindha fed us with her soothing, gentle voice.

"Before giving unconditional love to others, you will have to provide yourself with it first."

And so, the session was on focusing on thoughts of unconditional love, eg. given by a mother to her child, a nurse to her patient, a teacher to her student, and for me, what constantly surged through my mind were images of my sister's infectious laughter.

Well, to be frank, I did take more time yesterday to settle those bustling thoughts, what's with your eyes open, you are exposed to more distractions, such as other's growling stomach, fidgeting, movement and even, oh-my-god-jian-did-u-notice, this guy on my left kept producing what sounded like small, instantenous, smell-less farts.

Thrice. I'm serious!

So, after pushing those distractions to their bays, I finally rested my eyes on a comfortable spot. Beyond my own belief, the feelings of complacence and sheer joy were what I ever experienced throughout.


It just feels so tranquil to spread love within yourself and towards the end of the session, in Kavindha's words, "..and now to people around you, in this uni, Melbourne, Australia and the world. Let them feel the love you're experiencing..unconditionally..."


=)


Kavindha was right that this step would exhaust us, as Jian claimed I looked dead after, and Jia Yen and Pei Wen thought I just woke up from a sleep, and someone said I looked down!


Just that it wasn't true, far from true. I felt calm within, my pulse slowed down, contented, yet inevitably, hungry! Ahh~~ the wonders of meditation!


(I'm thinking it's because we somehow were using mental energy, you know energy being unperishable and constantly transferred, though it does sound silly, I wonder if it's possible.)

Attempted to meet up with Jun Jie and Chon Jin but failed, nvm, next time then =)

Later that night, my brother told me that he wasn't going home as he had early lectures this morning, and I was comtemplating what was there to cook again, when Chen Hao said I could take his room for the night as he was going for a stayover elsewhere.


After much consideration, I stayed back and it proved worthwhile. The convenience was so exciting and me walking around with CH's keys like a resident at UniLodge was exhilarating! Like someone in disguise.. lol.. And not to forget, the warm hospitality provided by the hosts and hostess in the city, you know who you are!



And yea, now, back to work. Assignments.. =)


Cheers people! Have a great weekend..